I was afraid to meditate because of yesterday's anguish. I was so worried I was going to have a lot of discomforts again.
- Discomfort can be worse than Pain because discomfort can be felt all around and cannot be singled out to be ignored. I can stab myself with a needle or endure a wound than endure the discomfort that comes from having to fight off distractions.
- Absolutes - I was putting too much pressure on myself to meditate and get it all right. I was being "absolutist" that I should not take notes and should ignore and endure every temptation. I didn't realize how stupid and self-defeating this was when just touching the notepad and writing these urges away did more good to my mindfulness state than being resolved to endure every urge.
Absolutes, Forgiveness, and kindness. I just realized how much this all matter and relate to one another. Humans are not great with absolutes.