Meditation Update: Discoveries without Reflection

 Reflection is something I try to avoid when meditating. Reflection is defined as looking back at the past actions and behaviors and making judgements and analysis. 

In mediation I'm not trying to reflect. I;m avoiding it or trying to catch myself reflecting and trying to forget it. I'm trying to be "In the present" that means observing myself and how I behave under the conditions of sensory (pleasure and pain) depravation. 

This is interesting because I'm basically observing myself. As I count my breaths, I observe my allergies kicking in, the discomforts, the distractions, and the relief (or arguably pleasure) of a breath and the quiet panic of exhaling a fraction of a second longer. 

Now I restart the count when I get distracted - any thought that is no about breathing and enjoying my breath. It's freaking frequent and at the same time - that's ok. 

Observing myself is a different me. My attention, my behavior and my weaknesses give me new data in an observation state complimenting a reflection state (where biases play a role in our memory formation).