Actively - SAD. Saying no to Options I've kept open but never acted on

Power and Money. Why do I wish for more, when by simple analysis it's Attention and Time which I need? 

I'm in that phase of my life where I've meditated on the truth: if I believe I need X then I behave in a way that seeks X. Of course life is complicated and it's not that simple - there is diminishing returns. And there are diminishing returns to power and money. 

Time and Attention may be useless without power and money. 

But these days I really do need better Control over Time and Attention. 

I have to be SAD (sadness is Acceptance) by saying no to options I've held on to - even though I'm never exploiting the options - like owning a Book I have no time to read

Sadness is such a useful emotion when I learned that it means I've accepted something I dont want to accept. If I don't feel sad I'm not adapting to REALITY. Pro-actively discovering and testing will lead to sadness of my limits and capabilities - and proactively seeking things difficult to accept - is STRANGE way to approach sadness. 

Because - its approaching the future with the expectation of Sadness, but discovering hope and gratitude (emotions that are tied to sadness). 

The More I say NO to options I've kept Open, the more Attention and TIME I have. The more actively I make myself Accept these Difficult things - the more Time I have to "BE" with what matters.  

Rational and Irrational - part of me wants to hoard opportunities, keep things "possible" at the expense of what? At the expense of fully enjoying or experiencing things that make me happier? (thats wrong) 

It is both Rational and Irrational. Both Voices are saying me to Keep and Discard opportunities and Apply my Attention - yet what makes me better... 

I cannot say HAPPIER because of the USE of all the emotions. Its like saying I want SWEET or SALT, its nothing without all the nuances of all the flavors. 

...what makes me better is experiencing more CATHARSIS (catharsis is when emotions are processed and incorporated into who I am).  Then the cycle begins again - 


I need to Say NO, I need to process my fear of Sadness. I need to make sense of how I feel. I need to experience all the emotions and accept them as who I am. THEN apply my attention - I need to experience THEN apply how I focus and spend my time. 

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