its the same at work - Sponsor ask "Justin Do this" and I know the Odds of that, and I try to boil down to specifics "What is this for and what exactly do you need". I really just simply weigh the Risks and look for what Action will result in the requirement being met with the smallest possible cost.
I - out of habit - because I'm not so smart to be able to contextualize and apply it when the situation is best - use my Work and Gaming skills to break down a problem.
Which people close to me tell me is upsetting when I use it for a personal project - its too damn Rational I'm told. I keep minutes, I feedback the minutes for accuracy, and I use socratic methods to tease out the main constraint.
And when the main constraint is that "I'm a ROBOT" Sorry I cant do much about that.
What's really happening is that I'm upset while this is all happening and I suppress and suspend my feelings to get the Job Done - and after a lifetime of Gaming - rational decision-making allows me to suppress emotions and almost do these all out of habit.
What makes me upset - the unnecessary work, my wants, the tedium, the misunderstanding, that belief that my ideas are irrelevant, that I cannot attach to anyone's idea because the Idea may be wrong and I have to suspend judgment. Imagine a brain so distracted and attention broken that it feels all these things and I don't have the EQ, upbringing, to really process it immediately.
All I can do is WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN and use a FRACTION of my mental power that is still available after all the upsetting distractions and process the Inputs.
I write so much down - in public - and I feel like I'll never be understood by those closest to me.
It's not me being an Asshole - an Asshole Managing his being an Asshole LOOKS like an asshole - because inside his head he's dealing with an asshole and he cannot look or behave in a "humanly" manner when he's managing his emotions.
Everyone has to do a JOB even if they're upset - the ACTION is what matters - their tone doesn't. (Someone who'se used @Voice aloud Reader to READ hundreds of hours of books and contracts) TONE is IMAGINED we project our values and expectations to TONE.
If the tone is unreliable then the ability to have a direct dialogue of a problem is more important than Tone. mental health-wise tone is also damaging - Imagined Slights, passive aggression, uncertainty - and the FACT that people are always having shit they have to deal with - why have to have the unnecessary Factor of Tone, tone is best used as a Secondary KPI when after Audit the other KPI's have failed.