My Rejection Letter - the Emotion is True - what do I do about it.

"No one is persecuting you or your kind" One side will say to the other. 

Yet we feel persecuted or attacked. 

In CBT we check - where did this come from? What made me feel this? 

Then we go back to who said what, how it was framed and we Audit every source. 

I have a very low intelligence can do that. I do that by speaking out loud as I'm writing on my notes and making lists of all the sources - like any Recall task when I forgot where I put something. I can't remember so I start with the basics and proceed to write what to do and feedback with what I wrote - because I know I am not as smart as to remember what I'm doing. 

How we feel is TRUE - we are feeling persecuted or attacked. 

So we check. We may feel something inappropriate to a cause - feel guilty even if we had nothing to do with something bad that happens to someone, feel pleasure when someone we don't like get what we believe they deserve. Emotions are messy and often inappropriate. 

But if one believes "Confrontation" is a virtue then Confrontation - the conflict management style that emphasizes in being DIRECT to the Point and Getting to the Source and Root (Not necessary Causing Conflict or Starting Fights) Confrontation with Emotional Intelligence means going to the Source with Good faith and Empathy - "I know it looks bad, so unlike everyone else who would normally AVOID this and do all sorts of duty-shirking at getting to the root of this I am here to listen and find out".  

We audit or investigate the feeling. Know that what we feel is TRUE and proceed to look around and inquire and investigate where did this come from. 

Today I got my rejection letter. 

Sins of the Crusade and the Warring States game is too much like Dungeon Fantasy. When you consider that Historical Fiction is the same as Fantasy. The wife tells me Its a "its not you, its me" kind of letter, I agree but you can imagine the emotional weight of it in light of the Bon Apetite and systemic racism in the industries as well as Gaming. I've seen the output Is it because I'm Brown Asian 3rd Worlder? 

I will Convert the Document to Traveller SRD, with the ARIES variant rules, and finally eliminate the System bloat. 

I will only know if I'm really not good enough when I self Publish. 

Even if I self Publish and it is a Loss, who I believe I am is what I'm paying for. 

I feel Enemy Action, I feel you are Brown and your work is not like ours. The emotion is TRUE, but its cause may be more complex. I can feel persecuted but I'm really not. So I self publish and know if I'm really not good enough. 

Why seek to work for the system that wants "the good old days" when people like me cannot enjoy this hobby? I want to meet other developing World people - who have more similar Dreams to me - see how they play TRPGs. Who look at the past without the nostalgia of "good times gone by"  but see the collective struggle and oppression/exploitation and see the future with the collective uplifting of their People.

Good old days - growing up - kidnappings, political instability, more rampant seizure of property and violence.