Pinoy man's reflections


I grew up witnessing the problems that my mother and wife overcame as women. I've sat in how we men act out of ear shot and the bias. I'm in a rare company where there are mostly women management and LGBT leaders. 

One of the weirdest things of this election is hearing people bias and behavior I've never before heard from them when talking about Leni. I never knew these people can say so much misoginistic things. Its so weird that Ive ended up reflecting who I am from who I hang around with. 

When I think about the struggles of women and in race, its weird to see how its here also in the Philippines and in a nearly homogenous race. Its interesting because It is a lot to take in and so notable how it relates to how my empathy tries to predict the behavior of people. 

When people treat me well but treat others differently without the history of being treated poorly by these people I scratch my head and wonder why? In my meager empathy it just makes sense to be cautious, fair, and knowing take some calculated risks of openness. I honestly see my self in others and try the reciprocation method to behave with some modifiers based on behavioral translation people have corrected on me. 

What i dont understand is that why is it that another people's suffering not something other can empathize? Dont we use their suffering to measure our behavior? Do we not use their abuse and their challenges to check if we are also part of the problem? Isnt that what we are taught? That we check if we do harm? 

I can observe women being treated unfairly and point it out. I can see relationships with women where there is a huge power difference and that maybe they are unhappy. I can see the bias of having a girl in some cultures and see how it shaped them. I can observe this and while I may not suffer - it makes me worried for my daughter, my wife, and my mother... or the girls and women of loved ones. 

I have people compliment my intelligence, but behave contrary to this. I know they belittle the problems I ponder - why they think a convicted tax evader, enabled by Martial Law Plunder, and an unverifiable SALN, a strong misinformation campaigner, is better than an educated Widow with a transparent track record. I feel that they really think I'm an idiot and they are complimenting me and being untruthful. I think they really think poorly of me so much that they dont tell the truth and never really say what they really think. I think these are the people who make the world harder to live in not just for me but for others. 

I cant help but see the bad behavior - the gas lighting, the variance between words and behavior, and learn from the experiences of women how men are assholes. Now that I see the behavior I cannot unsee it. Now I have the difficult problem of learning to deal with it.