Do my Job for me - when my son hates my sermons

 So I do the 5Y analysis when my son does something that needs correcting. and my son who is 11 hates it. He hates it so much he tells me "I know what your going to say dad!" and my favorite thing about him saying that is "Ok Do my job - Say something that will both correct his behavior and not feel bad." 

And I love how I could see him Iterate all the possible combinations in his head and see every one of them leads to him feeling bad - that no matter what I say he will feel bad. Imagine a Decision tree that all end in a "Feel Bad" end node. 

the thing is, after that the NEXT realization is WHY? Why do I feel bad from correction?  Of that TREE a huge set of branches come from "I need to be right?" particularly "be right". Be right vs be better. One is a Zero Sum absolute and the other is a SPECTRUM of possibilities. 


What should come out of it should be "Hey lets do corrections this way?" "Lets have this tone for correction?"

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