replaying conversations - slowly reordering what I should value?

 whenever I replay a conversation,

The urge to have a better come back has to deal with the reality that I honestly cannot hold anything any more in my working memory. It breaks as I get older. No guile or ability to sound smarter or riposte an attack. 

Its not so bad, a lot of people are not prioritizing being equipped to have a snappy retort ready to impress another party. That's why character and substance of discussion is held more important than sarcasm, wit, and the ability to perplex the other party. 

A conversation ends and some people think about what was said and what it means. to value flash over substance will just lead to just a preoccupation of "gotcha moments" instead of any real dialogue. 

"Why do you need to sound smart?" is often a voice trying to tell me to get back in control. "Isnt the people who only value you for sounding smart the people who will discard you when you stop sounding smart?" 

Work with your low stats. Work with what you've got. Appreciate what strengths I have and learn to accept my weaknesses. 

Is the justin who could have made the smarter retort "Me". Would that have meant I would have been prioritizing the zingers? Would that have meant I would need to be more guarded? Would that have meant the conversation was a game to win, not an opportunity to listen and know who the person really is?