you never grow out of being a suicidal teen

Imagine having a family only for your children to commit suicide? Bills and economic commitments tying you to being around - and of course loved ones. In light of what will happen - and all the love i feel for my family.. I sometimes hope they are all well so I can go. 

every intense bought of stress, I wish I will be taken. Just take me and end this. I'm tired losing and trying to find a "WIN" in every setback. I'm tired. Let go of me and let me rest forever. I love you all but I'm not born with the power to help anyone - let some hero or some saint do this. 

There are no saints or heroes. We make our own world. I just want to rest, especially before I forget who I am and all those I love.