now i'm the idiot.
of all the times i thought my parents wrong. being a parent i realize life dulled us. sure we trade youth for power. we have experience, but the mental agility and processing power i knew i had. When time used to slow down for me and moments extended.
We cannot let go of the experiences that actually slow our thinking. the speed and power of being young and thinking yourself invincible until you're not. Being old is imagining every crippling death and loss of life and tragedy.
I dont mind being a dinosaur. ancient and irrelevant - holding a place for the next generation. as the next generation will go through the SAME THING - for life of the human race.
the benefit of having kids is seeing both sides of eternity: the past and the future - as they try to tickle you and pull pranks on you - you can see coming a mile away.
To be a doddering old man - mentally feable - the next generation will hopefully have better ideas and we roll that dice they will every moment.
To imagine what the next brilliant ideas the next generation will create and how quickly they become feable survived only by the next generation.
I'm having more GAPS in my memory. i work out, do my Chinese, work and completely forget how 2000 words got here and 4 hours of youtube recorded meetings. its 10:30 and I'm not yet done.